Self Honesty

This falls into the category that "your mind is your own worst enemy". Your mind can come up with any rationale to support any scenario. And that is not always a good thing.

Take self improvement, for example. In my case, my desired self improvement includes mainly physical changes: increasing strength & flexibility, increasing endurance, decreasing body mass, along with avoiding processed foods, eliminating sugars, planning ahead and preparing the majority of my meals.

Getting started on my self improvement path was fairly easy. In fact, for 9 months I barely thought about it. I increased my activity level, I decreased my portion sizes, I eliminated processed sugars and foods, and I lost weight while building muscle.I was losing 2+ lb per week, every week. It was simply melting off.

And then what? My mind started creeping into the equation: "You can have this one soda. It won't undo everything you've accomplished. It's just one.", "Why don't you take the weekend off, you worked out most of the week. It won't hurt anything.", "You are still losing weight, don't worry about how little it is, the point is you are still losing. Your clothing is getting looser.", "You can stay up and watch this movie, it's okay if you don't get a full 8 hours of sleep tonight. Just go to bed early tomorrow.", "Just pick something up for dinner, it's easier and it's only once in a while.". BUT, it all adds up to "hurt" the overall program and lifestyle. How did it hurt? Yes, my clothing is looser but not THAT much looser. Yes, I am losing weight but not THAT much weight. Some weeks I'm outright stalled. I'm tired. I caught a cold.

The problem is that I know the formula that works and I've allowed my mind to talk me into ignoring it. I'd like to say that I came to this realization on my own but it was through a rather "rude awakening" that I saw what had been happening. I wasn't being honest with myself. I wasn't being true to what I want in life. I was making excuses, and have been for the past 2 months.

No more. And with that an apology to my "Online Dating" fans. I've left the online dating sites until I have what JR calls: "time to take care of a man". First, I need to take care of me. Thank you Jason for pointing that out even if that wasn't your point when you were telling me how I am not a fit for you.

Stay tuned, I'm back!

SPLASH!

Having been fished out of the proverbial pond, I was a bit surprised to find myself suddenly back in the water.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming... I'll get there eventually. For now, it is back to emails, wishes, and dreams.

SPLASH!

Catching Fish

There are plenty of fish in the sea... But where is this proverbial sea?

By now we are all aware that I have been "fishing" in the online dating pool for some time. And by "some time" I mean 2 months. Man, it feels like FOREVER! :) Where has it gotten me in that time?

First, it's gotten me frustrated. I mean, I'm a super social butterfly here with no one to talk to! Why? Because online dating has changed over the years. This isn't my first time fishing the choppy seas. Let's hop into the wayback machine and have a look at online dating in 1997. Yeah, I said 1997.

1997 - Online dating consisted of Yahoo! chat rooms & Messenger. You logged into a chat room and were instantly connected with real, live people who were looking to, surprise of surprises, CHAT! There were local chat rooms where you could find people who lived in your area. There were "romance" chat rooms where you could find people who, like you, were looking to meet people (some for dating, and some for other not so dating purposes). The point is, you were instant messaging (pre-texting era) and actually talking to people.

2013 - How is online dating different today? Glad you asked! Today, you log into a website, write up a profile (say anything you want about yourself, by the way), post a couple of pictures and start window shopping. So what happens next? You find a fish you think you may be interested in and you email him/her. And you wait. They are typically not online when you send your email and you are now waiting for them to get back to you. Before they do though, you can rest assured that they are going to read your profile and they are going to consider every perceived character flaw before they decide whether they will email you back. Gone are the days of a polite, "I'm not interested, thank you". No, it is browse and move on, not bothering to take a chance on anyone who doesn't fit a specific physical mold. People, you cannot tell whether you have something in common with someone based on a photograph. It cannot be done. Trust me. 

Let me ask you, when you walk into a social gathering and you see someone that you think you might have an interest in, do you hand them a profile and an email and then sit across the room waiting for them to get back to you or do you go up and say hello (maybe after rallying some courage) and start a conversation? Exactly! I truly believe that the advent of online dating websites has killed online dating. Leave, as quickly as you can, and head back to messaging, text, chat, social gatherings, and the like!

That being said, I am happy to report that after many fruitless emails, I have finally had the good fortune to encounter a fish that I am delighted to get to know. ;)

Stay tuned...

He Ran Away

Let's meet contestant number (I've lost count) ? in our quest for online social interaction!

He claims to be looking for someone to run away with though he spells it "runaway". Maybe he's confused between airplanes and women.. maybe.

Okay, what are his interests?
Red wine, Golf, Skiing, Family, Beaches, Cooking, Working out, Muscle cars, All kinds of music, Camping, Fishing, Traveling

Well rounded, athletic, likes travel and music. GREAT! We have several in common. Let's have a look at what he is looking for:

"Where do I start..I would like to apologize for the guys that wreck this site and put some much miss trust into you ladies..its made it very hard for me to find what I'm looking for.... (so he feels bad that men on online dating sites tend toward jerkiness - we can work with this. It isn't really up to him to apologize for all of guykind but okay.) this has been a long journey for me in the last 4 years in search of my soul mate... maybe I'm a little too picky after everything I've gone through in life.. (This should have thrown up a red flag immediately! At least he can admit that he is picky but what is he basing his pickiness on? Looks? Cause that is all you got to go on here on an online site, looks.) I think there's someone out there for everyone... and we're all looking for happiness, it might take a little longer then others such as myself...I'm a great guy once you get to know me...so don't judge me on my pics please!!... (He doesn't want to be judged by his pics. Okay, I can understand that. Does this mean that he won't be judging on pics? We'll see!)

About me????......I'm 6 foot tall, 215 lbs and take care of myself... (I don't really know what that means. Can he hold his own in a fight? Can he cook, clean, pay the bills? What does it mean?) i have my own house, 2 vehicles and have a good job that ables (I dont' think "ables" is a word) me to do the things I enjoy, of which I'd like to share with that special someone...My passions are muscle cars and cooking...and yes I'm looking for someone too travel with ..I've been asked many times why I'm on pof...I guess as we get older our friends get married and move away , I work lots, and don't do the bar scene anymore...so here I am ladies!!!

If you have any questions just ask :)"

Well, he has a good job, his grammar isn't the best, and he is looking for someone special. Oh, and a note, one of his pics says "August 2013...i know most girl don't like the no shirt pic...oh well lol"
It was a pretty good looking pic. Let's email him, shall we?

My email: "You shouldn't apologize for the other guys, they should grow up and apologize for themselves. And that no shirt pic is really great (I'd say hot but that is a little cliche). Anyway, just thought I'd drop by and say hello. So... Hello! :D"

At this point I'm going for the minimalist approach: say something nice, and see what we get. I mean, I think I've used up my best lines already.

He humored me with a very minimalist response: He ran away - nothing!

Casting the line in again...

He Wants to Make New Friends

Up next we have a gentleman (I'll use the term loosely) who is open to chatting and making new friends.

Let's have a look at his interests:
Golf - I don't play but I'm thinking of taking it up since everyone and their brother and sister and 3rd cousin seem to play here in Canada.
Hockey - Well who in this country doesn't like hockey?
Nutrition - Good, I am into this too.
Camping - Excellent! I just got a new sleeping bag!
Fitness - kinda goes hand in hand with nutrition, eh?
Snowboarding - meh, not so much but you've got to have differences right?
True Blood - I think this is a TV show and I don't have a TV or cable so I can't be sure.
Music - I don't think I've ever met anyone who doesn't like music.
Softball - I played when I was 12, got a conk on the head with a ball. That hurt.
Crossfit - I do some of this so that is cool. Goes with fitness doesn't it?
Dexter - Probably a HUGE red flag but it is a TV show afterall.
Running - more fitness so that is good.

And what is the man looking for?
"So this asks for a description. But what does one say about themselves without coming across as arrogant. So ill be brief and to the point.
Open and honest to a fault.
Caring and wear my heart on my sleeve.
Like to live and love life as much as I can.
I like going to the gym and being healthy, plus being outside being active even tho Mother Nature hasn't granted us with the best spring/Pre summer so far, well unless you're a duck. Lol"

Well, 1 point for not wanting to sound arrogant. 1 more point for being brief and to the point (you wouldn't believe how long some of these profiles get!)  Minus 1 for "loling". I can't stand the human need to "lol" after everything they think might be funny or intend as a joke. 1 point for the funny duck comment (negated by the "lol" of course). So that puts him at +2 for the time being. 

This bit is new since I emailed him last night so I haven't anything to say about it other than it appears that he has been getting a lot of messages asking him for sx: "So I have updated my profile from wants to date but nothing serious do looking for a relationship because apparently nothing serious means i just want sx even tho i explain my choice in my profile. But I guess women read profiles just as much as men do lol. Just a note ladies a guy can list pretty much anything on his profile and just be looking for sx. So i would to think since i took the time to explain why i made my choice that i wouldnt be lumped in with those guys, but if you did maybe some trust issues need to be worked out before you are ready to date, just saying. So ultimately I would still like to find my best friend and last girlfriend. "

ACTUALLY... I would say 1 point for trying to set the record straight, -1 for assuming that women don't read profiles, -1 for "loling" yet again after assuming women don't read profiles, -1 for lumping all women into a trust issue pile. So that, coupled with the above gives us a current 0 overall. 

The rest of his profile before he changed it: "Now for what im looking for. (Oh good! Now we can see what he wants in a woman) Im looking for open and honest and when i say honest i mean honest, tell me the way its. Like if we meet and you aren't feeling it just let me know. Don't say sure we'll get together again only to ignore my messages and or calls. (guessing he's experienced this in the past. Perhaps having been put through this, he'll stick to his own advice and tell it like it is. AKA: respond with a "I'm not interested, thanks" rather than just ignoring an email he receives - we'll find out)
We are adults here, some more mature than others when it comes to rejection, so lets act like it and just lay it out there.
Plus I'm also looking for someone with a great sense of humor and personality. (Well, gee! I tend to think I'm pretty funny, have a great sense of humor and a rather decent personality. I can laugh, love to laugh, love to make people laugh - or rather help them to laugh. This could be good) I'm all about enjoying life and having fun. And I like nothing more than to make the people around me smile and laugh as well.

If you would like to know more feel free to message me and ask. Always up for chatting and the chance of at least making a new friend."  

Excellent! He is up for chatting and the chance to make a new friend AND he likes to smile and laugh as well. Let's send him a message!
My email: 
"Hello there,
I AM, in fact, a duck! So this has been a completely fantastic year for me. Plenty of ponds to paddle in and I just love a good thunder storm! You haven't got anything against dating a duck, have you? We ducks love the gym, have excellent nutrition, and are very much into fitness and camping though we can't hold a golf club to save our lives! Snowboards scare the bejezus out of us and we often get mistaken for the puck when playing hockey. But if you can see past all of that, drop me a note.
:D" 
  
Pretty amusing stuff there, right? Am I right? I am one funny duck! Okay, let's get his reaction:

chirp... chirp... chirp... chirp... chirp... chirp... He read it, he didn't bother to even look at my profile and (drum roll) he deleted it.

So much for chatting and making new friends while laughing and smiling...

Next!

He Knows What He Doesn't Want

At least this guy has a few standards. He knows exactly what he doesn't want:

"Ladies .... Let me tell you what I'm NOT looking for ..... (and here it comes!)

Topless mirror pics ... Like really. !!? Put a shirt on girls ... And if your flexing ... Move on ...!! (Is it just me or does it seem like nearly every guy on dating websites has a topless, flexing mirror pic?)

If you have pictures of your crotch rocket , sports car or your jacked up rig pig truck .... Move on (Hmmm, sounds like another guy thing. I don't go perusing the other womens' profiles but I sure see a lot of the above on the guys' profiles..)

Pleas stop sending pics of your junk !!! If that's your best asset..... I feel sorry for you !! (Say what? Are there really that many women sending their "junk" around on dating websites? I've been blindsided by guy junk but didn't know women did this too)

If your holding a beer in every pic. Or are drunk in every pic ... I'm not interested !! (Ah, the beer/drink shots... I think it is required of 4 out of 5 men to have a drink shot among their pics but every last one of them claims to only drink "socially")

Ladies if your wearing your pants around your ass with a baseball cap that has a flat rim , giving some sort of gangsta sign. ... Don't even !!! Move along !! (errrrrrrrr, yeah)

And if you think you can just say everything a guy wants to hear in hopes of getting some ... Your sadly mistaken .... I respect myself too much for that .. (By this point I am beginning to think that this profile is actually written by a woman. Most of the above are guy tendencies on online dating sites and well, I don't really think this "guy" could have run into that many women who do the same... just saying)

Girls that are players .... I'm not into games ... Take a hike .... I can spot someone being fake a mile away
Hope this weeds out all the losers out there ..."

What have we learned? Anyone who does the above is a "loser" and should move along. Let's see if he gets around to talking about what he DOES want...

"Just so I know you read my profile. Type the word dolphins in your message that way I know you took the time to read my profile instead of just looking at my pics .... I'm way more than a pretty face .... " 

He likes dolphins? What is it with guys and dolphins on this site. I once ran into one who complained that all the women had their pics taken with dolphins and he was jealous or something... Okay, so, what else does he like? 

"Ladies if your giving the " people's eyebrow ( raised eyebrow ). Without trying ....... Fix that sh*t!! Geez like dont you have any girlfriends who would be honest with you and tell you straight up you look like some sort of clown ....
Ok ok I'm done venting :p "

Oooops, that is another doesn't like... but, he does say he is finished venting so let's move along.   

"On a more serious note ...

single guy looking for an amazing connection.... are you out there ?

Lets find the spark that's been missing ...

I'm up for it ..... Are you ??

they told me to say ... "I'm unique"" 

Well, not much to go on. He is single so that is a plus. Oh, wants an amazing connection and a spark. And someone put it into his head that he is unique.  And the venting continues...

"One more thing !!! Ladies !!! If your gonna post pics of your girlfriends with you, Suck it up if I ask if they're single ...!!! Geeez lol"

Errrrr - I don't know what to say. Really? He would ask if your girlfriends are single if they happen to be in a picture with you on an online dating website? That is like showing up at the house and asking the other sister out once you got there. WOW! 

Ah, here is what he is looking for: 
"The other day I was browsing profiles ..... I came across one in particular ... Age 37 ,height 6 ft 1 , body type - atheletic. ... Everything I find attractive in a woman .... Then I had a closer look and it was my own profile ... ;p"

And, maybe not! Apparently he is hung up on himself. Any parting tidbits?    

"Another thing ....
When it comes down to it , I don't want to be your " change " what I mean by that is . It seems a lot of women decide , now is the time the don't want to be used for just sex .... I have no problems with that and I don't plan on using anyone for just sex ( I want to use them for everything else as well ... Haha I'm totally kidding )
But if you even have to make that decision, you've already been played far to many times and your more than likely weak and vulnerable and that's why that has happened to you. .... I'm not looking for you , I m looking for someone who exudes confidence and doesn't need a man to feel good about herself.
Now if that's you ..... Please .... Feel free to message me :) "

Well... alrighty then! We know exactly what he doesn't want and that would be to date a woman. This guy wants to date himself. Sadly I believe I messaged him asking what a "people's eyebrow" was (never heard of it before) but thankfully I didn't hear back from him (note that he did amend his profile to say what it was after I emailed him). I'd have to say that it was a moment of weakness because it was either really late or I was drinking and taking topless pics of myself and my best girlfriend with our junk hanging out in front of my jacked up rig whilst giving the people's eyebrow to the camera man who I planned to play later. Yeah, most likely the latter. 

NEXT! 

He Was the King of Spain

Okay, I admit that his headline should have, most likely, probably, aught to have scared me off in the first place: "Once I Was the King of Spain" (though the song is pretty upbeat). Obscure references that I have to google make me go hmmmm...

Anyhow, I think I was suffering from "this might be a little challenging" syndrome or was thinking "maybe he is only looking for a friend and that would work for me too depending on his interests".

His profile:
"YET ANOTHER UPDATE (apparently 3/4 ladies read these and approve) (Not sure where he gets his scientific evidence to back this up... but um, okay)
Taking a bit of break. If you are the quasi-nerdy girl next door with little to no baggage and are emotionally available I would still love to hear from you. (I mean this in a completely non-jaded way...sadly there is no emoticon for that)

give this a watch if POF has gotten you down and remember you are fantastic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao  (Nice of him to include an inspirational video)

UPDATE(summer 2011..apparently some people do read these)
Well hello again POF after a brief hiatus in a committed relation I have returned (to be fair I was back a couple of months ago, but didn't have the time to update this). So apparently amoungst my wit and charm (and if it's not coming through...trust me I'm awesome...lol) people are confused what i'm looking for (hmmm...it says dating and i'm looking for a relationship...maybe people aren't actually reading these). I don't tend to send out a lot of e-mails on here (not a lack of confidence per se, but it seems that ladies on her are so bombarded with every Tom,Jimmy and Sven sending messages that I think we've become desensitized to those with genuine interest...also being that I am still not in the city it's going to take someone who's open to that, realizing sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze). (This portion of his profile should have been a red flag. He was here back in summer of 2011 and I hadn't seen his profile until just now which means he has probably come and gone several times since 2011. Serial dater perhaps?)

NEW UPDATE (still not sure if anyone reads these)
As I stated in my last update I was going to start looking for something more. In my searches i've noticed a few things 1)If I lived in the city I probably wouldn't need to be on here. Yes ladies if you have gotten this far and are saying "He seems nice...I wonder what's wrong with him?" that's the catch. I don't live in the city. So if you want to meet someone who lives next door...i'm not your guy. If you figure a great guy is worth a little effort by all means send me an e-mail. 2) No matter how hard I try I still have manners. Just the way I was brought up and I can't help it...and heaven help you if it's a dress up occasion. Not to sure what else to add here as I am a horrible sales-person but I am recommended by 2 out 3 dentists and am pretty sure I know the Caramilk secret (not that i'll tell you :P). (I'm not sure where he lives, he never does say. So he thinks the only reason he is on the dating website is because he doesn't live in the city though according to the paragraph above he had a relationship (brief) and is now back. Methinks it is something more than living in the city.)

Update (not that anyone actually reads these): So even though i'm still happy meeting friends and such to go out dancing, I plan on looking around for something more (with it being the new year and all). So with this in mind i'm also looking around a little closer to home. So if you're interested drop me a line with something like "I'd walk 500 miles" or "if you lived next door and I wasn't washing my hair that night". I've also left up my original profile for those of you that are just looking to hang out and dance.

I originally came on here looking for someone who liked to dance when I came into town to visit my friend. I'm not much of a "bar star" as everyone so fondly says, but I love to dance (non-country, sorry cowgirls), and frankly where else are you going to go to dance?

As this is a fairly unique situation (or not) i'll be taking a pretty passive approach. Meaning if you're interested let me know (preferably with an e-mail, this whole favourites thing confuses me....lol) as i'm not going to be one of those guys sending out mass e-mails to every Sally, Jane, and Helga (although i'm sure they're all very nice)."

Now, I'm not sure which end is up with his profile and the order of the updates. So I figure I'll just toss out a line:

My email:
"Hello there. I can't tell which update was first or last or what you are looking for but I read them all. Dancing and non-bar scenes came through. So.. What do you do besides dance? And where do you actually live? Hope that you will at least take an active enough approach to respond to an email anyway. :) the whole Meet Me thing confuses me. I think favorites is just to save you for later viewing. Dorky that it tells the user they have been favorited... :D" 

His response:  He read it and said nothing. 

I'm fairly certain that my email to him was sent later at night and that had I reviewed him in the harsh light of day, I would have refrained. Late night tireds + internet access do not always = smart moves! What was I thinking?

:D Carry on, nothing more to see here but join me next time for more Adventures in Online Dating! 

He's Chivalrous

For J.R. who really IS chivalrous and who is amused by my snarky online dating reports. :D

chiv·al·rous

[shiv-uhl-ruhs] 

adjective

1. having the qualities of chivalry, as courage, courtesy, and loyalty.

2. considerate and courteous to women; gallant.

3. gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor.

This one is a self proclaimed animal lover, good looking, and lists the following interests:  weight training, cooking, hiking, kitchen parties, and wine tastings. 

Not bad, I like hiking, cooking, and wine! Oh, and I'm seriously weight training at the moment. Looks like we have a few things in common! Let's see the "about me" section:

"Okay: So I have been on here a grand total of 3 days (1 July) and I have come to the conclusion that 95 percent of first emails sent consist of only 2 words:
"Hey There".....so what else can the response be other than "Hey back"....lol......I guess there is no other way to make contact....Ha!"

Okay, he's as frustrated with the email communications on the site as I am. I'm sure I can do better than "Hey There". He's also new to this forum so maybe he is still responding to emails when he receives them. Let's see what else he is looking for: 

  

"On a similar but separate note:

I am looking for a strong, independent woman. (I don't personally think that this is a similar note but okay)

I am :

Chivalrous, strong, independent, humble, attentive, affectionate and a protector.

I am not:

A Player, married, narrow-minded or needy. (Thank goodness!)

I am fit, love to hike and stay active at the gym and play hockey regularly still. I also love to cook and do so often.

Some quotes I like and can relate to:

1. Healthy citizens are the greatest asset a country can have: Winston Churchill
2. Courage is about being scared to death but saddling up anyway-John Wayne
3. Alcohol--Because no great story ever happened by someone eating a salad...lol" 

While the last quote is a little bit concerning, his profile lists him as a social drinker only. Let's hope that he doesn't think that any human interaction is a social excuse for a drink. And I'm pretty sure I can come up with a pretty great story that occurred while eating salad (I'll get back to you on that).

So, one email coming up! My email:

"Greetings & Salutations! How are you today? I like to think that I am part of the other 5% on this site. :D You know, the ones who are capable of saying more than; "hey there". So what does your current favorite cool hat look like? Cute dog you have there as well. How old is he or she? Where do you like to hike and what was the best thing that you have cooked in the past month (I guess that would go back to mid June). :)
Have a lovely weekend!"  

His Response: He read it (7 days ago now) and never responded. 

I think it is really too bad that the only "gifts" you can send through these dating websites are things like virtual roses. In this guy's case I would send a copy of the dictionary with "chivalrous" highlighted. I'd probably throw in highlights for "courteous" and "considerate" too... just sayin'!  

He's a Cad

cad

[kad] 

noun

1. an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women.

This one has a fairly well thought out profile, and interesting way of expressing himself, and a puzzle for you to solve. I would not have messaged him but for the puzzle. While we do share some interests and he is a handsome enough guy, he is 6'3" (I'm a whole 5'3") and there was just something that I wasn't sure that I'd be interested in. So, I decided I'd message him just for the puzzle. 

His puzzle: 

"I'm not kidding... I will buy dinner for the first woman that answers this correctly:

Solve for x ---> C12H22O11 + Capsaicin + x = You

No hints :-p" 

Now I know that Capsaicin is related to the HOT in chili peppers and the like. What? It's been all over the news as a metabolism booster... it has. Having no idea what C12H22011 is, I googled. The rules only say no hints, it doesn't say no googling. Really, the only rules are above. I got a wiki hit that indicated this compound has something to do with sugars - aka: sweet stuff. Having read quite a few male profiles that indicate they are looking for sweet, attractive women, I send the following: 

"SWEET + HOT + SMART = YOU"

I don't generally write up guys who respond back and had no intention of writing up this one. I got back the following: 

"Almost! Good try :-)

Out of all the answers received so far... yours is the only one that was heading in the right direction.

I did register the answer with another member as proof that I am playing fair ;-)" 
 

He then went on to send me a second response indicating that he likes a portion of my profile, is actively pursuing someone and that once he "seals the deal" he'll be writing up something similar for his profile. Now I scratched my head a bit and wondered to myself: Why is a guy who is actively pursuing someone still on the website with an active profile? Why? Anyway, I responded back about the thought behind my profile and the (unscientific) research that went into my conclusion and offered to chat via email as friends, assuring him that I wouldn't take his email correspondence as anything but friendship as he was actively working to "reel one in". No response but at this point, it wasn't expected. 

The story continues as I do a bit of thinking on the puzzle. Hmmmm, I can figure this one out. I mulled it over the next morning and had a lightening bolt strike. AH HA! Capsaicin is spicy - if I change HOT to Spice... and the compound refers to sugars... nursery rhyme time... It can't be, can it?  I figure I'll send it to him but am stuck on the whole "he is already pursuing someone" thing. I figure if I get it right, I can tell him to take his interest out to dinner instead. Yeah, I can live with that.

I fire off: "Sugar + Spice + Everything Nice = You" 

And I get back this:

"Indeed.

x = everything nice :-)

It's a shame it took you two guesses (and a subtle hint) ... I would have honoured my pledge ;-)

Don't tell anyone please!!

I'm testing for outside-the-box thinking ;-)"

Honestly, I think there are better ways to tell a woman that you are not going to honor your word than to start making up rules as you go. Suddenly there is a, until now unstated, guess limit and apparently there was a subtle hint in his response that I was heading in the right direction. Uh, Huh... 

C.A.D to the core.  
 

Oh, I'm not telling "anyone", I'm telling everyone... :D

 
 

Those I Didn't Email

So as you go through a pile of online profiles looking for new friends, partners in crime, people to have adventures with, etc., there is always a pile of "discards". You now the ones. They wrote that little special something in their profile that made you go "well, huh..." and pass them by.

Here is a collection of some of those little special somethings:

1. By Mr. Tall, Dark, & Handsome (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent):
He writes a decent profile about patience, honesty, integrity, trust, communication and building a foundation of friendship. Not too shabby. He then wraps up his profile with this tidbit:
"I know you are out there, come to me, i am ready now."
EWWWW factor: 8

2. Mr. Listen UP! Actually his headline is "listen carefully" and coupled with this little beauty in his about me: "I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. If I want to take a random road trip to Las Vegas to get wasted and blow some money at the Craps table, I’m going to do it."
Um, yeah... no. 
EWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a child with a bit of growing up to do but has the potential for a greater EWW factor if he keeps up with this track. 

3. Mr. Split Personality - He has a very limited profile but what he is looking for is as clear as mud: "I would love to meet an uninhibited woman" and followed by:  "My ideal partner is calm, and cool." Now, I don't know about you but I'm not convinced that "uninhibited" meshes well with "calm and cool". No EWWWW factor here, just a mixed up man. 

4. Mr. Women are Only Here for an Ego Boost - The bulk of his "about me" is filled with a random rant about how bad the women on the dating website are: "I've been on and off of this site for almost a year now. One thing I have learned Women are on here for An ego boost . They rarely or never Message you back . I was talking to a local girl Just trying to make a friend She told me that she had too many messages to answer them all back And she was hideous . I got news for you ladies The average guy Only Gets Three or four messages a week . At least be honest You say you want a relationship But your always looking for the next best ride . I was talking to one girl She said it was third in line Out of seven Like I was supposed to thank her " Coupled with his sexist pictures that portray women fairly poorly in general, this guy gets a pass.  
EWWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a bitter woman dis-liker than anything. Too immature to realize that just because 1 or 2 have turned him down doesn't mean the rest of us are bad.  Dis women in general and you are dissing me too. 

5. The Sales Man - aka: Mr. Honest - This guy can't quite spit out what he is looking for without going into an about me. He starts with: "First before you read further. Please be none of these.a liar, cheater, gambler, alcoholic, selfish. If you are still reading, here is what i desire. Looking for a companion and best friend to laugh with. I enjoy going out for dinners, holding hands, and up for anything fun. I enjoy many types of entertainment and activities, but lack somone to spoil, give flowers to...you know, the romantic stuff. I am honest, loyal and trustworthy,with a big heart looking for a woman who is the same." The next paragraph is much the same:  "Here is what I am looking for; a smart, sweet, beautiful woman who likes to laugh and have fun. I am very Honest, sincere, devoted, and romantic, and would like the same in my companion." Okay but once you have a look at his facebook profile (yeah, he stuck that in there on one of his photos so that you can find him outside of the dating website) you learn that he is into cars (I think that is what he sells) and all of his photos are of him posing in/with the cars or with hot chicks. Really? That is what we came to facebook to learn about you? You give slimy lot lizards a bad name. EEEWWWWW factor: 8

This post will be updated as more of these gems are uncovered so check back!

 

He Has the Worst Profile EVER

I think this one steals the cake for worst profile of all time:


1. The username has a thinly veiled swear and racist slang word in it
2.  The headline includes the words "Master" and "Baiter"  - I know the site is fish themed but come on...
3. All of the user's photos are either sexual in nature or have a very bad joke as the caption
4. I'll let you read and decide for yourself - 

"Did Not pass go & Did not collect $ 200 In the hole again ..Baaaaastards

*** HUNG LIKE A HORSE -------SeaHorse That Is { See theres a gooder -Cant take a joke never get anywhere } --
I work a little much but guess that supports my drive to be ....something ..Maybe the yodeller
RRRRRIIIIIIICOOOOLLLLAAAAA Honestly officer I was helping the sheep over the fence & how did you get up this steep cliff ??????

*** This One Time at Bandcamp { Not going there ..Never Been
& Never played a flute or a Tuba } ***

My goal is to drown in a beer vat, be Front row on the Menudo or Justin Beaiber tour or hold the bathroom door for George Michael { ** Totally Kiddin ** }

I guess to be Rich & or Infamous { Whatever works right } or end up making your licence plate if I get caught doing something a lil illegal like that u turn a few months back !!

I collect Beer cans & bottles to count the bunnies , find squawsnatch { No } & Make Blue mountains turn grey .

I have a great sense of humor & Im damn Funny Lookin { Looks arent everything }I do have a Teenage daughter who lives with me full time { Just so ya know }

Music is good , doesnt taste good since they got rid of Vinyl but goes well with any coocktail"

WHAT THE?!!!!???!?!??  Can it get any worse? You tell me. His idea of a first date:

"Milk a Moose or Make a Bad Impression on your dad { U know he hates all us men anyway } The 2 latter are probably just as ballsy & would probably offer similar consequences . kiss your momma { her hand that is } & beat your lil bros ass at some stupid 1980s q bert game.

Board games .. Naked Twister ,Tiddliewinks or Maybe ...you can sink my battleship { Nah }

Somewhere & something outta the ordinary ... Not takin a bullet for ya on the first date most likley but never say never
Just Something Fun ." 

Needless to say, this one is not getting an email. I may need to go and flush my eyeballs out to try to get this profile out of my head... 

EWWWWWW Rating: 11 out of 10.  

He's Adventurous!

ad·ven·tur·ous

[ad-ven-cher-uhs] 

adjective

1. inclined or willing to engage in adventures; enjoying adventures.

2. full of risk; requiring courage; hazardous: an adventurous undertaking.

3. disposed to seek adventure or to cope with the new and unknown 

4. willing to take risks or to try out new methods, ideas, or experiences 

This one fancies himself as an Adventurer with a long list of interests: 

Science, specifically geology and fossil/mineral hunting, mountains including camping and rock climbing but NOT running into grizzly bears. Beverages liked include beer, wine, and coffee (I'm sure not all at once - at least I hope not). Going out to dinner and chocolate. Also going out for coffee (hmmm, he likes coffee). Going to the movies - he certainly is a goer! Squash (not sure if this is the veggie or the sport), skipping stones, hitting pop flys all afternoon (I'd think his arms might fall off after that), rain forests, books, animals, folkfest, road trips (back to the going), sky gazing (probably goes with hitting pop flys), listening to the campfire and last, but not least, LANDSCAPE PAINTING (his caps, not mine).     

Whew! That is some list of interests. At least he is well rounded. 

What he says about himself: 

"Hey you! Whoever you are:

I'm an adventurous geology nerd that loves camping, rock climbing, squash, landscape painting, science, dinosaur hunting, conducting geological fieldwork in remote places by helicopter - and most of all animals of all sorts, ranging from cats to horses to frogs (My favourite dogs are huskies and border-collies - okay, Palmeranians are cute...). I also enjoy cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, and baseball.

I especially love Music and Movies. My favourite music ranges from U2 to enya, and of course I'm madly in love with Bjork. My favourite movies are Braveheart, all of the Indiana Jones, Cast Away, Jurassic Park, and any movie starring Captain Jack Sparrow.

Although I'm a scientist/geologist, I also love to paint - feel free to check out my artwork at: www.******.com (Blanked out to protect the not-so-innocent)

My favourite past-time is skipping stones across the surface of a still lake, preferably in the Mountians somewhere.

Looking for an outdoorsy lady who likes camping out under the stars, is a bit nerdy, who loves scrambling up mountain peaks, but also cozy cuddles on the couch while watching a favourite movie. Must be an animal lover (including cats and dogs, among other wild sorts like Pikas, Chinchillas, and Prehistoric Man-eating Therapods)."

I had a look at his art (I liked most of it - he's pretty good!). I figure myself as an otudoorsy lady who likes camping, I'm a bit nerdy/geeky, love hiking, and can certainly go for a cuddle on the couch (if i had a couch) during a movie (oh, and Captain Jack sets my heart atwitter!). Let's email him!

My email: 

"Hello there! You are in luck as I am a therapod (especially the velociraptor if that is a therapod - now I've got to google Therapod... *sighs*) loving girl geek who also enjoys the outdoors, painting, photography, animals, and Captain Jack Sparrow. :D Your paintings are great (not to boost your ego, I actually looked and like most of them - the scary snake haired creature not so much but the landscapes are great) and I'd love to see them in person sometime. Care to chat a bit and see if perhaps we have more than chocolate in common? :D" 

His Response:  He read it and apparently it killed his adventurous spirit as I've yet to hear from him. 

Ah well, on to the next unwitting victim... 

He Quotes Bob Marley

I think that we can all admit that sometimes someone else (usually Hallmark) says it better. Obviously this quote means something to this guy and so here is what he says:

" I love camping, hiking, going on warm vacations, and watching a movie at home with someone special. Read this qoute if your still interested then message me.

He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and makes mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you. - Bob Marley Quote.
 
If you want to know more then ask! This makes it easier then putting a novel on here."

Now, this is a pretty decent quote for an online dating (or dating in general) situation. He knows that everyone is not perfect, but that someone is perfect for him. Granted it is written from a guy's point of view though (didn't think of this before) so does that mean that women have to be perfect but men don't? Hmmm, something to ponder. Meanwhile, his interests include movies, friends, hiking, BBQs, family, etc. 

Well, I read the quote and am interested in saying hi. I want to know more so I guess it is time to ask...

My email: "Hello there! That's a great quote! :D I may have to steal it sometime in the future. Do you charge royalties? Where are your favorite places to hike? What is the one thing that you would not want anyone to know about you? :D Tricky question huh?"

I figure, why not give the guy a challenge. He's already admitted he isn't perfect so.. what isn't perfect about him? 

His response: DELETED without reading...

Guess he won't be writing that novel after all. 

Next!

 

He Likes Coffee

His interests start with coffee. I think we may have an addict on our hands though he doesn't appear to be vibrating in any of his photos...

Interests also include: hiking, nature, the gym, mountains, reading, other people, and of course hockey.

Well, he is fairly well rounded then. He may be a hockey likin' thug but he also likes reading (and coffee!) He's "seeking pretty intelligent" according to his headline. Now, does that mean he is seeking a pretty intelligent woman or a woman that is pretty and intelligent? I don't know...

Let's see what he has to say: "I am on here looking to meet someone who catches my eye and challenges my mind. Someone with their own point of view and willingness to express it.

As for myself, I enjoy exercising, reading, movies, ufc...and am rarely ever seen without a coffee in my hand. I do my best to be both socially and environmentally conscious and like that in others as well."

 Alright, he wants someone to challenge his mind and who has their own point of view. Surely he knows that in order to figure out whether someone does that, he'll need to participate in a conversation (albeit an electronic one). Let's see if he can (or will) respond!

My email:

"Hello there,
Where is your favorite place to hike and which mountains do you like the best? What was the last book that you read? I read Free Country because it sounded pretty funny (and it was). What types of books do you like? How do you drink your coffee?"

 

His response: He read it 4 days ago and has yet to respond. Guess he isn't that into discussing his coffee preferences nor will he be finding out what lies behind this pretty face...

He's Different

Ah, the self-proclaimed "different from all the other guys"...

There are plenty of them out there, though they never really say what it is that makes them different. Don't they know by now that all human beings are pretty much alike and that no amount of claiming to be different actually makes you different?

His profile includes a wide selection of photos of himself, himself with his dog, & himself with a good buddy or 2 (and one with some really odd thing on his head with the caption "Don't ask. lol" Begging for an ask!). They all look pretty happy and his headline proclaims that he is "hoping to find the one".  The ever elusive "one", eh?

Let's have a look at his likes: Sports, red wine, travel, nice restaurants, and fitness - I ask you, how subjective is a "nice restaurant"? No matter, he likes to travel and is into fitness, sports, and red wine. Can't be all that bad.

About himself: "Well now where to start. I love most sports and enjoy working out and staying active a great deal. I believe in "eating clean" although I also believe in very rewarding treat days.lol I love to laugh and believe in laughing as much as humanly possible. I like to think of myself as different than most guys. I pride myself on being one of the few out there who really appreciates the little things in life and respect and trust are both earned. I don't expect anyone to believe I'm a great guy just because I say I am. All I'm looking for is a chance to prove all that I say and write about myself. I'm an accomplished professional with a great job but my personal life is lacking. While I spend a lot of time at the gym and outside with my dog, some things are still lacking. I'm hoping to find someone with whom I can share my life with and that of course includes my successes and failures. I've been on this site before and have experienced moderate success. I've since moved to a new city though and would like to try again to see what fish are out there.

Drop me a line and we can see where this life is supposed to take us.

cheers,"

Here is a bit more in way of what he likes - eating clean, laughing, has a great job (subjective), spends time at the gym and outside with the dog (I've got a dog and I go to the gym - a LOT), Wants to share his life with someone, thinks he is different than most guys, appreciates the little things in life and all he is looking for is a chance to prove himself.  What say we give him a chance to prove what he says about himself and that he is different? Are you with me? OK!

My email: 
"Hello,
Where did you move here from and why? What is your favorite "treat" food that you don't normally eat? And I have to ask, what on earth is that thing on your head in the pic? Looks like maybe a dog toy that has had all the stuffing ripped out of it? Yeah, I have a couple of those laying around courtesy of my dog. :D
So, what makes you different from other guys? I have to warn you, the other guys don't usually respond to emails so... that would be one way you can be different."

Now, I've just given him the way he can be different. Nope, didn't hint, came right out and said - the other guys don't respond, so if you want to be different.. respond. 

And he said: DELETE

Guess he isn't all that different after all... 

He Wants Unlimited Options

Headline: I have a good feeling about this.

Okay, he's optimistic anyway. And he has a lot of interests that range from camping, mountain biking, and nature to photography, concerts, and road trips. Seems like a well rounded individual. Let's have a look at what he is looking for!

"Like many, I'm here just checking things out. Will internet dating be my saving grace? Chances are slim, but 'm not going to limit my options at this stage of the game.

I like to see new places and try new things. I like to discover old bands and albums that aren't in the mainstream anymore. I like to pretend I'm a musician and photographer, but day to day responsibilities tend to get in the way of developing these talents. I'm looking to adore, and be adored. The right girl will find out how genuine and generous I can be, and together we will explore the world - and each other - and it will be a fantastic journey. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm also a dreamer:)"

 Well, he has a good attitude. He isn't going to limit his options at this state of the game. Not sure what stage he is at in this game but hey, he likes music and photography. A little sappy with the "right girl" schpeal but hey, who doesn't want to be adored and explored? :)

His idea of a first date: "steal a car, rob a bank, graffiti a rail car.. or maybe just grab a drink, whatever - I'm easy."

I'll play along, seems like he has a bit of a sense of humor. I mean, no one REALLY wants to steal a car or rob a bank on a first date, right? Let's see how "easy" he is. 

My email: "Ooooo! How about jumping a train, holding it up for the bankroll and then graffitiing the conductor? :) THAT would be fun."

His response: 

That's right, folks! Nada! I think my criminal sense of adventure scared him off. 

He's Manscaped!

He's manscaped...

Okay, I don't know what that means either but it's the headline to his ad. Further, he is not seeking a relationship or commitment of any kind. What he is seeking:

"just here for someone to workout with or go to movies or shows. to hangout with even if it's just coffee or maybe go to a pub and have some laughs.
i was a competative bodybuilder and i'd like to get serious about it again, so you should like going to the gym also. i'm looking for mew adventure- maybe beginner mountain climbing, hiking, tenting, digging up stuff like artifacts...
skidiving again would be fun. survival stuff. canoeing or better yet kayaking would be fun."

 So I thought to myself, hmmmmm, this might be interesting. I like to hike, tent, dig up artifacts, canoe, kayak, and I like the gym (4 days per week!). He is looking for a workout partner. I could do that a couple of days a week. Let's email him and see. 

My email: "Hello manscaped man who is looking for a workout partner. What sort of workout do you do at the gym? I bike, hike, and kayak (been a while but I have my own boats and looking to get back into it). Care to chat a bit and see if maybe we can stand each other enough for some outdoor activities? :D That is a joke, by the way, the standing each other part. :)"

His response: chirp, chirp, chirp.... that would be the sound of crickets chirping, he didn't respond. Guess email responses are too much of a commitment. 

He's New to Edmonton

Up next in the world of online dating, Mr. New to Edmonton.

At least that is what his headline says. You know, the catchy phrase you write to, you know, catch someone's attention. It reads: "New to Edmonton, wanna hang out!?" Maybe he's a bit confused about how he feels about being new to Edmonton or hanging out or whatnot but proper punctuation as a strong point is not his.

Looks like maybe he is starting slow and wants to make friends first. This is backed up by the fact that he is looking to date but nothing serious. Well hey, relationships start with friendships don't they? And I'm new to Edmonton too. So we have something in common! Let's see what he is all about:

He says: "Looking to find somebody to share fun times with and see where it goes. I like being active especially outside in the summer. I also like to kick back and watch a movie or have a few beers and bbq.

I am a hard working carpenter, I have owned and operated my business for ten years. I am looking to move into doing more renovations as I find it more satisfying work than constructing large commercial projects. Although I am a carpenter by trade I am also a nutritionist with a keen interest in fitness and personal training, and I am also a reiki practitioner. Long term I would like to have a health and fitness retreat in a tropical location. I could also thatch huts, lol!

I like most music, except country, jazz, opera (can this even be called music?)"

Well, he is a bit limited on his musical preferences but likes to be active, is a hard worker, owns his own business, and is into nutrition, fitness, and personal training. All things that I've got listed on my profile and that are pretty key in my life right about now. Hmmm, he is a tiny bit humorous and likes to LOL (not a good thing guys).  

His pics show him in a Tough Mudder T-shirt (several of his pics do) and he has hiking, biking, health, and nutrition among his interests. Might be worth writing, at the least I may gain a hiking/biking partner/friend. You don't know unless you try. 

My email:

"Hello there! :D
Happy Canada Day Weekend. I am new to Edmonton too. Where did you come from before here? Being able to thatch huts is a very handy talent indeed! :D Especially in the tropics. I don't think thatch would hold up too well in Alberta. Though you would get many call backs to replace collapsed thatch.
Doing anything interesting this weekend? No, perusing POF is not interesting in the least :P Where did you do the Tough Mudder? Was that recently and how did you like it?
Hope to hear from you."

Thought I'd toss in the "Hope to hear from you" to let him know that I was expecting a response to my email.

His response: He read it. pfffffffffffffft nothing. zip. zilch. nada.

What is with the men in Canada? Is it just Alberta or Edmonton or Canadian men who behave this way or is it all men? Hey, you, man who is reading this blog. Yeah, you. What is up with men not responding when a woman emails them on (of all things) an online dating website. I think we have the equivalent of the non-returned phone call here.

Geesh, who's up next?

He's Open Minded

This is actually becoming quite fun...

So, up next we have Mr. Open Minded. Let's see how this works out. Not a bad looking guy (for some reason most guys on this online dating site are 6ft tall or taller (Good lord! What is a short girl to do?).  He doesn't list any interests but he has this to say about himself:

"Hi ladies, i am out going, adventurous and enjoy the outdoors. Little about me i come from a family of 4 and i am the youngest and only boy! So i have a great understanding of women :-D ! I love taking out my side by side and get some mud on the tires ! My goals are be the best i can be everyday and always give 110 percent at my job and of course a relationship! You get out of things for which you put in! I am a very easy going individual and always have an open mind and a soft shoulder. I enjoy setting around a campfire with a guitar. or a nice evening enjoying. Music or just a nice conversation. Hope i may peak your interest?"

Okay, he doesn't know the difference between "peak" and "pique" but come on ladies, let's be open minded about this. That is a hard one so let's give him a pass as he does have a great understanding of women. Not sure what a side by side is but it must be a toy that can be taken out in the mud. 4x4 maybe? Who knows. And he knows that you have to put into something to get something out of something - yeah, I know what he was trying to say but um, how he said it left a bit to be desired. Well, let's have a look at his idea of a first date, shall we? 

"Well my first date would. Be at first a phone conversation to break the ice, for we have just meet via pof? Lol and possibly make arrangements for. A drink and dinner just to get to know each other and to see if there is some chemistry? And if all goes well possibly set up a second and third date! :-D for i am new at this and just a little shi! Just saying lol" 

Okay, looks like a bit of a serial LOL'er but perhaps he is nervous. He is "shi" afterall but interested in having a phone conversatoin and then maybe a drink and dinner. Oh, and he knows that a second and third date may follow a first date. He can count! While I won't post these guys' pics or most of their profiles, his profession is listed as "supervisor". Okay, let's email him and see what happens shall we? 

My email - he doesn't seem to have an obvious sense of humor but claims to be adventurous so let's stick with something basic. Let's say hi and ask a question or 2: 

"Hello,
What is the best adventure you have ever been on? What are your favorite outdoor activities and what do you supervise (your work is listed as Supervisor)."

His response:  BOOM! He didn't even read it. He deleted it. 

Interesting response to a woman emailing you and asking you a couple of ice breaker questions based on your profile. Is it just me or does the internet cause people to lose all social skills? In my opinion, this behavior is the equivalent of turning your back and walking away when someone is talking to you. In what reality is that even acceptable? 

Stay tuned for more adventures in online dating...
 

He Has No Manners

Online dating.
Have you ever tried it?

It's an interesting concept, online dating is. You take hundreds of people and throw them all onto a website, get them each to write a tiny snippet about who they are (from their own point of view where they can be anyone), pepper it with a few pictures that users have uploaded of themselves (typically bathroom mirror selfies), and you try to make a match out of this primordial soup.

I have yet to be convinced that any of the people on an online dating website are actually real or, better yet, actually have any real intention of doing anything other than looking for the perfect ideal (god or goddess) that they have dreamed up as a mate.

Take this guy for example. He comes across with a good sense of humor and appears to perhaps be genuinely interested in dating. He says (in part - and I'm only including the good parts):

"So I’ve got a proposal for you. How about we both go for coffee, hang out with each other for a few days/weeks, then write each other’s ‘profiles. Deal? I’d rather Suck the hairspray out of Donald Trump's comb-over than have to write this thing. Anyway, you've come to be entertained so I’d better get this song and dance on the road before you lose interest and click on the pic of that OTHER hot, rugged, mountain man up at the top of the page (did you seriously just scroll up?)."

Now the above is a pretty good opening line. He's funny! Let's see what else he has to offer: 

"I was raised by 4 sisters (like being raised by wolves, only instead of claws and teeth, they had eyeliner and mascara), I LOVE to laugh, I work as a professional, I'm physically active (runner, skier, mountain biker, rugged mountain man), outgoing, inquisitive, social, warm and friendly, interesting conversationalist, a hopeless romantic, pleasantly immature when the time is right, hard to be nervous around and easy on the eyes (at least that’s what my mom says). I laugh at my own jokes and sometimes make others choke on their food (or leak root beer from their nose)."

Leaning a little toward class clown but not badly enough to say, nah.. this guy has got me smiling a little at his silliness. 

Some more humor and his hobbies follow:

"When I’m not on POF creeping your profile, you can find me climbing rocks, traipsing across glaciers, assessing a slope for avalanche danger before shredding it mercilessly or hitting a DH run on my mountain bike. In other words, I love the outdoors.

I am fit, and only getting fitter (this does not mean I look like Channing Tatum, but I guarantee you can see at LEAST one of my abs). I’m also no Chef Ramsay, but I love to cook and take the time to eat well. "

Okay, he admits he creeps profiles, perhaps that should be a red flag but I think he means it to be funny. Moving on to what he is looking for:

"If any of these apply to you, you should likely find a different person to reply to. In other words, it isn't me, it really IS you: Lethargic, unkind, closed minded, think drugs are cool (pharmacists and anesthetists excluded), still infatuated with an old flame (or at least be kind enough to not blab endlessly about him/her), intolerant, cold and unfeeling and thinks chemistry is for nerds in lab coats.

My ideal match would be witty, well educated (formally or informally), active and healthy, outgoing and kind, loving and compassionate. She would also be riding a unicorn wearing a white dress.

Catch the sarcasm? What I mean is that this is a guideline, not a list that I’m going to be checking off when we meet. Ultimately, I believe that the measure of a person is how they treat people who can do nothing for them. If you understand what that means, then ignore everything I said above because there is a good chance we may click.

Feel free to send me a message or a wink if you are impatient and want to stoke the fire . I know having the girl make the first move is not traditional, but how traditional is online dating anyway?!?"

Okay, this can be me. I'm witty (no, really, I am!), active (gosh, I go to the gym 3-4 days a week and I bet there aren't many who could make it through the workouts that The Boxing Club offers. Oh, and I bike 1-2 days a week too), outgoing (well, I do blog for the world to see), kind, loving, compassionate (hmmm, is it egotistical to say I am?), riding a unicorn - I CAN DO THAT! Yes! Oh, and I know what it means to treat do well for others even if they can do nothing for me (aka, don't expect anything in return). Hmmm, he wants someone to make the first move.. okay, I'll bite and email him! 

Does he have any more requirements? Oh, he must see a photo (check, got that) and this tidbit: "And don’t just send me a message saying “Hey Baby”. Think of something interesting to say. Here, I’ll give you a leg up - start by tell me an item on your bucket list. Aaaaaaand, GO!"

And so I responded (keeping in mind that he has a sense of humor and all):

"You've got a great profile. Now if only I could find my unicorn and white dress. Perhaps the red one will do? The dress, not the unicorn. I think all unicorns are probably white though a good dye job may result in another color. But I digress...

Fully intending to stay as far from root beer as possible in your company, should I ever make your company. Oh, and here I am not following the rules already.. Bucket List, huh (that would be instead of eh, which so isn't me)? hmmmmm, bucket list. Hike in the Rockies, Visit Italy (again), get back to kayaking, complete the longest bike ride of my life (August so I'm well on my way to checking that off), meet a great guy whom I can become friends with and have excellent adventures with. I'm sure there is more. Oh, you said 1. Well, at least I've already answered the question, "What else is on your bucket list?". :D"


His response: He read it, he didn't respond, and he deleted it. Guess he is right, it isn't a list he is going to be checking off when we meet, it is a list that he is checking off RIGHT NOW.


Is it just me or is he lacking in manners? IMHO, if someone takes the time to email you, is somewhat amusing, and answers your silly questions, perhaps you could at least write back and say "Thanks but no thanks".


Men, be warned, you have just become blog fodder (think Bantha poodoo).