Okay, I admit that his headline should have, most likely, probably, aught to have scared me off in the first place: "Once I Was the King of Spain" (though the song is pretty upbeat). Obscure references that I have to google make me go hmmmm...
Anyhow, I think I was suffering from "this might be a little challenging" syndrome or was thinking "maybe he is only looking for a friend and that would work for me too depending on his interests".
His profile:
"YET ANOTHER UPDATE (apparently 3/4 ladies read these and approve) (Not sure where he gets his scientific evidence to back this up... but um, okay)
Taking
a bit of break. If you are the quasi-nerdy girl next door with little
to no baggage and are emotionally available I would still love to hear
from you. (I mean this in a completely non-jaded way...sadly there is no
emoticon for that)
give this a watch if POF has gotten you down and remember you are fantastic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao (Nice of him to include an inspirational video)
UPDATE(summer 2011..apparently some people do read these)
Well
hello again POF after a brief hiatus in a committed relation I have
returned (to be fair I was back a couple of months ago, but didn't have
the time to update this). So apparently amoungst my wit and charm (and
if it's not coming through...trust me I'm awesome...lol) people are
confused what i'm looking for (hmmm...it says dating and i'm looking for
a relationship...maybe people aren't actually reading these). I don't
tend to send out a lot of e-mails on here (not a lack of confidence per
se, but it seems that ladies on her are so bombarded with every
Tom,Jimmy and Sven sending messages that I think we've become
desensitized to those with genuine interest...also being that I am still
not in the city it's going to take someone who's open to that,
realizing sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze). (This portion of his profile should have been a red flag. He was here back in summer of 2011 and I hadn't seen his profile until just now which means he has probably come and gone several times since 2011. Serial dater perhaps?)
NEW UPDATE (still not sure if anyone reads these)
As
I stated in my last update I was going to start looking for something
more. In my searches i've noticed a few things 1)If I lived in the city I
probably wouldn't need to be on here. Yes ladies if you have gotten
this far and are saying "He seems nice...I wonder what's wrong with
him?" that's the catch. I don't live in the city. So if you want to meet
someone who lives next door...i'm not your guy. If you figure a great
guy is worth a little effort by all means send me an e-mail. 2) No
matter how hard I try I still have manners. Just the way I was brought
up and I can't help it...and heaven help you if it's a dress up
occasion. Not to sure what else to add here as I am a horrible
sales-person but I am recommended by 2 out 3 dentists and am pretty sure
I know the Caramilk secret (not that i'll tell you :P). (I'm not sure where he lives, he never does say. So he thinks the only reason he is on the dating website is because he doesn't live in the city though according to the paragraph above he had a relationship (brief) and is now back. Methinks it is something more than living in the city.)
Update
(not that anyone actually reads these): So even though i'm still happy
meeting friends and such to go out dancing, I plan on looking around for
something more (with it being the new year and all). So with this in
mind i'm also looking around a little closer to home. So if you're
interested drop me a line with something like "I'd walk 500 miles" or
"if you lived next door and I wasn't washing my hair that night". I've
also left up my original profile for those of you that are just looking
to hang out and dance.
I originally came on here looking for
someone who liked to dance when I came into town to visit my friend. I'm
not much of a "bar star" as everyone so fondly says, but I love to
dance (non-country, sorry cowgirls), and frankly where else are you
going to go to dance?
As this is a fairly unique situation (or
not) i'll be taking a pretty passive approach. Meaning if you're
interested let me know (preferably with an e-mail, this whole favourites
thing confuses me....lol) as i'm not going to be one of those guys
sending out mass e-mails to every Sally, Jane, and Helga (although i'm
sure they're all very nice)."
Now, I'm not sure which end is up with his profile and the order of the updates. So I figure I'll just toss out a line:
My email:
"Hello there. I can't tell which update was first or last or what you are
looking for but I read them all. Dancing and non-bar scenes came
through. So.. What do you do besides dance? And where do you actually
live? Hope that you will at least take an active enough approach to
respond to an email anyway. :) the whole Meet Me thing confuses me. I
think favorites is just to save you for later viewing. Dorky that it
tells the user they have been favorited... :D"
His response: He read it and said nothing.
I'm fairly certain that my email to him was sent later at night and that had I reviewed him in the harsh light of day, I would have refrained. Late night tireds + internet access do not always = smart moves! What was I thinking?
:D Carry on, nothing more to see here but join me next time for more Adventures in Online Dating!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
He's Chivalrous
For J.R. who really IS chivalrous and who is amused by my snarky online dating reports. :D
chiv·al·rous
[shiv-uhl-ruhs]
adjective
Okay, he's as frustrated with the email communications on the site as I am. I'm sure I can do better than "Hey There". He's also new to this forum so maybe he is still responding to emails when he receives them. Let's see what else he is looking for:
1. having the qualities of chivalry, as courage, courtesy, and loyalty.
2. considerate and courteous to women; gallant.
3. gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor.
This one is a self proclaimed animal lover, good looking, and lists the following interests: weight training, cooking, hiking, kitchen parties, and wine tastings.
Not bad, I like hiking, cooking, and wine! Oh, and I'm seriously weight training at the moment. Looks like we have a few things in common! Let's see the "about me" section:
"Okay: So I have been on here a grand total
of 3 days (1 July) and I have come to the conclusion that 95 percent of
first emails sent consist of only 2 words:
"Hey There".....so what else can the response be other than "Hey back"....lol......I guess there is no other way to make contact....Ha!"
"Hey There".....so what else can the response be other than "Hey back"....lol......I guess there is no other way to make contact....Ha!"
Okay, he's as frustrated with the email communications on the site as I am. I'm sure I can do better than "Hey There". He's also new to this forum so maybe he is still responding to emails when he receives them. Let's see what else he is looking for:
"On a similar but separate note:
I am looking for a strong, independent woman. (I don't personally think that this is a similar note but okay)
I am :
Chivalrous, strong, independent, humble, attentive, affectionate and a protector.
I am not:
A Player, married, narrow-minded or needy. (Thank goodness!)
I am fit, love to hike and stay active at the gym and play hockey regularly still. I also love to cook and do so often.
Some quotes I like and can relate to:
1. Healthy citizens are the greatest asset a country can have: Winston Churchill
2. Courage is about being scared to death but saddling up anyway-John Wayne
3. Alcohol--Because no great story ever happened by someone eating a salad...lol"
While the last quote is a little bit concerning, his profile lists him as a social drinker only. Let's hope that he doesn't think that any human interaction is a social excuse for a drink. And I'm pretty sure I can come up with a pretty great story that occurred while eating salad (I'll get back to you on that).
So, one email coming up! My email:
"Greetings & Salutations! How are you today? I like to think that I am part of the other 5% on this site. :D You know, the ones who are capable of saying more than; "hey there". So what does your current favorite cool hat look like? Cute dog you have there as well. How old is he or she? Where do you like to hike and what was the best thing that you have cooked in the past month (I guess that would go back to mid June). :)
Have a lovely weekend!"
His Response: He read it (7 days ago now) and never responded.
I think it is really too bad that the only "gifts" you can send through these dating websites are things like virtual roses. In this guy's case I would send a copy of the dictionary with "chivalrous" highlighted. I'd probably throw in highlights for "courteous" and "considerate" too... just sayin'!
I am looking for a strong, independent woman. (I don't personally think that this is a similar note but okay)
I am :
Chivalrous, strong, independent, humble, attentive, affectionate and a protector.
I am not:
A Player, married, narrow-minded or needy. (Thank goodness!)
I am fit, love to hike and stay active at the gym and play hockey regularly still. I also love to cook and do so often.
Some quotes I like and can relate to:
1. Healthy citizens are the greatest asset a country can have: Winston Churchill
2. Courage is about being scared to death but saddling up anyway-John Wayne
3. Alcohol--Because no great story ever happened by someone eating a salad...lol"
While the last quote is a little bit concerning, his profile lists him as a social drinker only. Let's hope that he doesn't think that any human interaction is a social excuse for a drink. And I'm pretty sure I can come up with a pretty great story that occurred while eating salad (I'll get back to you on that).
So, one email coming up! My email:
"Greetings & Salutations! How are you today? I like to think that I am part of the other 5% on this site. :D You know, the ones who are capable of saying more than; "hey there". So what does your current favorite cool hat look like? Cute dog you have there as well. How old is he or she? Where do you like to hike and what was the best thing that you have cooked in the past month (I guess that would go back to mid June). :)
Have a lovely weekend!"
His Response: He read it (7 days ago now) and never responded.
I think it is really too bad that the only "gifts" you can send through these dating websites are things like virtual roses. In this guy's case I would send a copy of the dictionary with "chivalrous" highlighted. I'd probably throw in highlights for "courteous" and "considerate" too... just sayin'!
Simply Cinnamon
Ingredients:
1 Medium Banana - Sliced
1/2 Cup Canned Pineapple (Shredded or Chunks work best)
1/2 Cup Greek Yogurt
1/4 Cup Milk
1 TBSP Chia Seeds
1 TBSP Flax Meal
1 TBSP Hemp Hearts
1-2 TSP Ground Cinnamon
Blend Milk, Banana, and Pineapple until smooth.
Add Chia, Flax, Hemp Hearts, and 1 TSP Cinnamon. Top with Yogurt and blend until smooth. Add additional Cinnamon to taste.
Pour and enjoy!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
He's a Cad
cad
[kad]
1. an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women.
This one has a fairly well thought out profile, and interesting way of expressing himself, and a puzzle for you to solve. I would not have messaged him but for the puzzle. While we do share some interests and he is a handsome enough guy, he is 6'3" (I'm a whole 5'3") and there was just something that I wasn't sure that I'd be interested in. So, I decided I'd message him just for the puzzle.
His puzzle:
"I'm not kidding... I will buy dinner for the first woman that answers this correctly:
Solve for x ---> C12H22O11 + Capsaicin + x = You
No hints :-p"
Solve for x ---> C12H22O11 + Capsaicin + x = You
No hints :-p"
Now I know that Capsaicin is related to the HOT in chili peppers and the like. What? It's been all over the news as a metabolism booster... it has. Having no idea what C12H22011 is, I googled. The rules only say no hints, it doesn't say no googling. Really, the only rules are above. I got a wiki hit that indicated this compound has something to do with sugars - aka: sweet stuff. Having read quite a few male profiles that indicate they are looking for sweet, attractive women, I send the following:
"SWEET + HOT + SMART = YOU"
I don't generally write up guys who respond back and had no intention of writing up this one. I got back the following:
"Almost! Good try :-)
Out of all the answers received so far... yours is the only one that was heading in the right direction.
I did register the answer with another member as proof that I am playing fair ;-)"
Out of all the answers received so far... yours is the only one that was heading in the right direction.
I did register the answer with another member as proof that I am playing fair ;-)"
He then went on to send me a second response indicating that he likes a portion of my profile, is actively pursuing someone and that once he "seals the deal" he'll be writing up something similar for his profile. Now I scratched my head a bit and wondered to myself: Why is a guy who is actively pursuing someone still on the website with an active profile? Why? Anyway, I responded back about the thought behind my profile and the (unscientific) research that went into my conclusion and offered to chat via email as friends, assuring him that I wouldn't take his email correspondence as anything but friendship as he was actively working to "reel one in". No response but at this point, it wasn't expected.
The story continues as I do a bit of thinking on the puzzle. Hmmmm, I can figure this one out. I mulled it over the next morning and had a lightening bolt strike. AH HA! Capsaicin is spicy - if I change HOT to Spice... and the compound refers to sugars... nursery rhyme time... It can't be, can it? I figure I'll send it to him but am stuck on the whole "he is already pursuing someone" thing. I figure if I get it right, I can tell him to take his interest out to dinner instead. Yeah, I can live with that.
I fire off: "Sugar + Spice + Everything Nice = You"
And I get back this:
"Indeed.
x = everything nice :-)
It's a shame it took you two guesses (and a subtle hint) ... I would have honoured my pledge ;-)
Don't tell anyone please!!
I'm testing for outside-the-box thinking ;-)"
x = everything nice :-)
It's a shame it took you two guesses (and a subtle hint) ... I would have honoured my pledge ;-)
Don't tell anyone please!!
I'm testing for outside-the-box thinking ;-)"
Honestly, I think there are better ways to tell a woman that you are not going to honor your word than to start making up rules as you go. Suddenly there is a, until now unstated, guess limit and apparently there was a subtle hint in his response that I was heading in the right direction. Uh, Huh...
C.A.D to the core.
Oh, I'm not telling "anyone", I'm telling everyone... :D
Monday, July 15, 2013
Session 3 - Week 1
Just wrapped up recovery week on Sunday and am now back at training. This session (at The Boxing Club) will run just over 7 weeks. I'll be continuing TRX Suspension Training, adding 2 weight training days, and continuing to bike, bike, and bike in preparation for the August 10th & 11th Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer.
Week 1 is now complete and it looked like this!
Sunday July 7th -The final day of recovery week. Much lounging around the house and watching of movies occurred (aka: slug mode).
Monday July 8th - First day of weight training with the lovely Miss Ashley "Crunchy Frogs". I hour of hardcore weights - quads, hammies, abs (yeah, I asked for it so she gave it to me), more quads, and some arms. Spent an hour or more vacuuming the shop at work this day too - you might think that vacuuming isn't much of a workout. I'm here to tell you that it is! Ever seen "the shop"? It's a BIG shop.
Tuesday July 9th - Mowed the lawn and did some gardening.
Wednesday July 10th - Take 2 on weight training. 1 hour of the baby muscles - all of those little bitty muscles that you don't usually realize exist until you make them work. Yeah, those. :D Arms, hip flexors, calves, shins, triceps, biceps and whatever else I am forgetting due to muscle tiredness. Also spent an hour mowing the lawn and my neighbor's lawn (he loans me the lawn mower, the least I could do is mow his lawn).
Thursday July 11th - TRX with Heather (Miss Sheila is away for the month learning to instruct YOGA) - Compound exercise night - 1 hour of Squat/Rows, I/Y flies, Chest Press/Tricep Curls, Single Leg Lunges, Sun Salutation Lunges, Drop Burpies, Suspended Planks, Hamstring Curls, and so much more. Ouch, Ow, Owie! Headed home for some light gardening as I welcomed 6 eggplant plants and 2 new perennials to my garden patch.
Friday July 12th - Rest and Relaxation
Saturday July 13th - Biking, what else!
Week 1 is now complete and it looked like this!
Sunday July 7th -The final day of recovery week. Much lounging around the house and watching of movies occurred (aka: slug mode).
Monday July 8th - First day of weight training with the lovely Miss Ashley "Crunchy Frogs". I hour of hardcore weights - quads, hammies, abs (yeah, I asked for it so she gave it to me), more quads, and some arms. Spent an hour or more vacuuming the shop at work this day too - you might think that vacuuming isn't much of a workout. I'm here to tell you that it is! Ever seen "the shop"? It's a BIG shop.
Tuesday July 9th - Mowed the lawn and did some gardening.
Wednesday July 10th - Take 2 on weight training. 1 hour of the baby muscles - all of those little bitty muscles that you don't usually realize exist until you make them work. Yeah, those. :D Arms, hip flexors, calves, shins, triceps, biceps and whatever else I am forgetting due to muscle tiredness. Also spent an hour mowing the lawn and my neighbor's lawn (he loans me the lawn mower, the least I could do is mow his lawn).
Thursday July 11th - TRX with Heather (Miss Sheila is away for the month learning to instruct YOGA) - Compound exercise night - 1 hour of Squat/Rows, I/Y flies, Chest Press/Tricep Curls, Single Leg Lunges, Sun Salutation Lunges, Drop Burpies, Suspended Planks, Hamstring Curls, and so much more. Ouch, Ow, Owie! Headed home for some light gardening as I welcomed 6 eggplant plants and 2 new perennials to my garden patch.
Friday July 12th - Rest and Relaxation
Saturday July 13th - Biking, what else!
Those I Didn't Email
So as you go through a pile of online profiles looking for new friends, partners in crime, people to have adventures with, etc., there is always a pile of "discards". You now the ones. They wrote that little special something in their profile that made you go "well, huh..." and pass them by.
Here is a collection of some of those little special somethings:
1. By Mr. Tall, Dark, & Handsome (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent):
He writes a decent profile about patience, honesty, integrity, trust, communication and building a foundation of friendship. Not too shabby. He then wraps up his profile with this tidbit:
"I know you are out there, come to me, i am ready now."
EWWWW factor: 8
2. Mr. Listen UP! Actually his headline is "listen carefully" and coupled with this little beauty in his about me: "I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. If I want to take a random road trip to Las Vegas to get wasted and blow some money at the Craps table, I’m going to do it."
Um, yeah... no.
EWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a child with a bit of growing up to do but has the potential for a greater EWW factor if he keeps up with this track.
3. Mr. Split Personality - He has a very limited profile but what he is looking for is as clear as mud: "I would love to meet an uninhibited woman" and followed by: "My ideal partner is calm, and cool." Now, I don't know about you but I'm not convinced that "uninhibited" meshes well with "calm and cool". No EWWWW factor here, just a mixed up man.
4. Mr. Women are Only Here for an Ego Boost - The bulk of his "about me" is filled with a random rant about how bad the women on the dating website are: "I've been on and off of this site for almost a year now. One thing I have learned Women are on here for An ego boost . They rarely or never Message you back . I was talking to a local girl Just trying to make a friend She told me that she had too many messages to answer them all back And she was hideous . I got news for you ladies The average guy Only Gets Three or four messages a week . At least be honest You say you want a relationship But your always looking for the next best ride . I was talking to one girl She said it was third in line Out of seven Like I was supposed to thank her " Coupled with his sexist pictures that portray women fairly poorly in general, this guy gets a pass.
EWWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a bitter woman dis-liker than anything. Too immature to realize that just because 1 or 2 have turned him down doesn't mean the rest of us are bad. Dis women in general and you are dissing me too.
5. The Sales Man - aka: Mr. Honest - This guy can't quite spit out what he is looking for without going into an about me. He starts with: "First before you read further. Please be none of these.a liar, cheater, gambler, alcoholic, selfish. If you are still reading, here is what i desire. Looking for a companion and best friend to laugh with. I enjoy going out for dinners, holding hands, and up for anything fun. I enjoy many types of entertainment and activities, but lack somone to spoil, give flowers to...you know, the romantic stuff. I am honest, loyal and trustworthy,with a big heart looking for a woman who is the same." The next paragraph is much the same: "Here is what I am looking for; a smart, sweet, beautiful woman who likes to laugh and have fun. I am very Honest, sincere, devoted, and romantic, and would like the same in my companion." Okay but once you have a look at his facebook profile (yeah, he stuck that in there on one of his photos so that you can find him outside of the dating website) you learn that he is into cars (I think that is what he sells) and all of his photos are of him posing in/with the cars or with hot chicks. Really? That is what we came to facebook to learn about you? You give slimy lot lizards a bad name. EEEWWWWW factor: 8
This post will be updated as more of these gems are uncovered so check back!
Here is a collection of some of those little special somethings:
1. By Mr. Tall, Dark, & Handsome (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent):
He writes a decent profile about patience, honesty, integrity, trust, communication and building a foundation of friendship. Not too shabby. He then wraps up his profile with this tidbit:
"I know you are out there, come to me, i am ready now."
EWWWW factor: 8
2. Mr. Listen UP! Actually his headline is "listen carefully" and coupled with this little beauty in his about me: "I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. If I want to take a random road trip to Las Vegas to get wasted and blow some money at the Craps table, I’m going to do it."
Um, yeah... no.
EWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a child with a bit of growing up to do but has the potential for a greater EWW factor if he keeps up with this track.
3. Mr. Split Personality - He has a very limited profile but what he is looking for is as clear as mud: "I would love to meet an uninhibited woman" and followed by: "My ideal partner is calm, and cool." Now, I don't know about you but I'm not convinced that "uninhibited" meshes well with "calm and cool". No EWWWW factor here, just a mixed up man.
4. Mr. Women are Only Here for an Ego Boost - The bulk of his "about me" is filled with a random rant about how bad the women on the dating website are: "I've been on and off of this site for almost a year now. One thing I have learned Women are on here for An ego boost . They rarely or never Message you back . I was talking to a local girl Just trying to make a friend She told me that she had too many messages to answer them all back And she was hideous . I got news for you ladies The average guy Only Gets Three or four messages a week . At least be honest You say you want a relationship But your always looking for the next best ride . I was talking to one girl She said it was third in line Out of seven Like I was supposed to thank her " Coupled with his sexist pictures that portray women fairly poorly in general, this guy gets a pass.
EWWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a bitter woman dis-liker than anything. Too immature to realize that just because 1 or 2 have turned him down doesn't mean the rest of us are bad. Dis women in general and you are dissing me too.
5. The Sales Man - aka: Mr. Honest - This guy can't quite spit out what he is looking for without going into an about me. He starts with: "First before you read further. Please be none of these.a liar, cheater, gambler, alcoholic, selfish. If you are still reading, here is what i desire. Looking for a companion and best friend to laugh with. I enjoy going out for dinners, holding hands, and up for anything fun. I enjoy many types of entertainment and activities, but lack somone to spoil, give flowers to...you know, the romantic stuff. I am honest, loyal and trustworthy,with a big heart looking for a woman who is the same." The next paragraph is much the same: "Here is what I am looking for; a smart, sweet, beautiful woman who likes to laugh and have fun. I am very Honest, sincere, devoted, and romantic, and would like the same in my companion." Okay but once you have a look at his facebook profile (yeah, he stuck that in there on one of his photos so that you can find him outside of the dating website) you learn that he is into cars (I think that is what he sells) and all of his photos are of him posing in/with the cars or with hot chicks. Really? That is what we came to facebook to learn about you? You give slimy lot lizards a bad name. EEEWWWWW factor: 8
This post will be updated as more of these gems are uncovered so check back!
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Whitecourt Adventure
Went on an adventure to check out the sights today. Beautiful skies above fields of Canola... :D
Okay, not much else to see out this way but it was a nice drive and I met a fun person. :) At least Ghiry thinks he's nice, feeding him water from his hand so Ghiry won't be scared of the dripping from the water bottle. Crazy dog!
Okay, not much else to see out this way but it was a nice drive and I met a fun person. :) At least Ghiry thinks he's nice, feeding him water from his hand so Ghiry won't be scared of the dripping from the water bottle. Crazy dog!
Friday, July 12, 2013
He Has the Worst Profile EVER
I think this one steals the cake for worst profile of all time:
1. The username has a thinly veiled swear and racist slang word in it
2. The headline includes the words "Master" and "Baiter" - I know the site is fish themed but come on...
3. All of the user's photos are either sexual in nature or have a very bad joke as the caption
4. I'll let you read and decide for yourself -
"Did Not pass go & Did not collect $ 200 In the hole again ..Baaaaastards
*** HUNG LIKE A HORSE -------SeaHorse That Is { See theres a gooder -Cant take a joke never get anywhere } --
I work a little much but guess that supports my drive to be ....something ..Maybe the yodeller
RRRRRIIIIIIICOOOOLLLLAAAAA Honestly officer I was helping the sheep over the fence & how did you get up this steep cliff ??????
*** This One Time at Bandcamp { Not going there ..Never Been
& Never played a flute or a Tuba } ***
My goal is to drown in a beer vat, be Front row on the Menudo or Justin Beaiber tour or hold the bathroom door for George Michael { ** Totally Kiddin ** }
I guess to be Rich & or Infamous { Whatever works right } or end up making your licence plate if I get caught doing something a lil illegal like that u turn a few months back !!
I collect Beer cans & bottles to count the bunnies , find squawsnatch { No } & Make Blue mountains turn grey .
I have a great sense of humor & Im damn Funny Lookin { Looks arent everything }I do have a Teenage daughter who lives with me full time { Just so ya know }
Music is good , doesnt taste good since they got rid of Vinyl but goes well with any coocktail"
WHAT THE?!!!!???!?!?? Can it get any worse? You tell me. His idea of a first date:
"Milk a Moose or Make a Bad Impression on your dad { U know he hates all us men anyway } The 2 latter are probably just as ballsy & would probably offer similar consequences . kiss your momma { her hand that is } & beat your lil bros ass at some stupid 1980s q bert game.
Board games .. Naked Twister ,Tiddliewinks or Maybe ...you can sink my battleship { Nah }
Somewhere & something outta the ordinary ... Not takin a bullet for ya on the first date most likley but never say never
Just Something Fun ."
Needless to say, this one is not getting an email. I may need to go and flush my eyeballs out to try to get this profile out of my head...
EWWWWWW Rating: 11 out of 10.
1. The username has a thinly veiled swear and racist slang word in it
2. The headline includes the words "Master" and "Baiter" - I know the site is fish themed but come on...
3. All of the user's photos are either sexual in nature or have a very bad joke as the caption
4. I'll let you read and decide for yourself -
"Did Not pass go & Did not collect $ 200 In the hole again ..Baaaaastards
*** HUNG LIKE A HORSE -------SeaHorse That Is { See theres a gooder -Cant take a joke never get anywhere } --
I work a little much but guess that supports my drive to be ....something ..Maybe the yodeller
RRRRRIIIIIIICOOOOLLLLAAAAA Honestly officer I was helping the sheep over the fence & how did you get up this steep cliff ??????
*** This One Time at Bandcamp { Not going there ..Never Been
& Never played a flute or a Tuba } ***
My goal is to drown in a beer vat, be Front row on the Menudo or Justin Beaiber tour or hold the bathroom door for George Michael { ** Totally Kiddin ** }
I guess to be Rich & or Infamous { Whatever works right } or end up making your licence plate if I get caught doing something a lil illegal like that u turn a few months back !!
I collect Beer cans & bottles to count the bunnies , find squawsnatch { No } & Make Blue mountains turn grey .
I have a great sense of humor & Im damn Funny Lookin { Looks arent everything }I do have a Teenage daughter who lives with me full time { Just so ya know }
Music is good , doesnt taste good since they got rid of Vinyl but goes well with any coocktail"
WHAT THE?!!!!???!?!?? Can it get any worse? You tell me. His idea of a first date:
"Milk a Moose or Make a Bad Impression on your dad { U know he hates all us men anyway } The 2 latter are probably just as ballsy & would probably offer similar consequences . kiss your momma { her hand that is } & beat your lil bros ass at some stupid 1980s q bert game.
Board games .. Naked Twister ,Tiddliewinks or Maybe ...you can sink my battleship { Nah }
Somewhere & something outta the ordinary ... Not takin a bullet for ya on the first date most likley but never say never
Just Something Fun ."
Needless to say, this one is not getting an email. I may need to go and flush my eyeballs out to try to get this profile out of my head...
EWWWWWW Rating: 11 out of 10.
He's Adventurous!
ad·ven·tur·ous
[ad-ven-cher-uhs]
adjective
1. inclined or willing to engage in adventures; enjoying adventures.
2. full of risk; requiring courage; hazardous: an adventurous undertaking.
3. disposed to seek adventure or to cope with the new and unknown
4. willing to take risks or to try out new methods, ideas, or experiences
This one fancies himself as an Adventurer with a long list of interests:
Science, specifically geology and fossil/mineral hunting, mountains including camping and rock climbing but NOT running into grizzly bears. Beverages liked include beer, wine, and coffee (I'm sure not all at once - at least I hope not). Going out to dinner and chocolate. Also going out for coffee (hmmm, he likes coffee). Going to the movies - he certainly is a goer! Squash (not sure if this is the veggie or the sport), skipping stones, hitting pop flys all afternoon (I'd think his arms might fall off after that), rain forests, books, animals, folkfest, road trips (back to the going), sky gazing (probably goes with hitting pop flys), listening to the campfire and last, but not least, LANDSCAPE PAINTING (his caps, not mine).
Whew! That is some list of interests. At least he is well rounded.
What he says about himself:
"Hey you! Whoever you are:
I'm an adventurous geology nerd that loves camping, rock climbing, squash, landscape painting, science, dinosaur hunting, conducting geological fieldwork in remote places by helicopter - and most of all animals of all sorts, ranging from cats to horses to frogs (My favourite dogs are huskies and border-collies - okay, Palmeranians are cute...). I also enjoy cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, and baseball.
I especially love Music and Movies. My favourite music ranges from U2 to enya, and of course I'm madly in love with Bjork. My favourite movies are Braveheart, all of the Indiana Jones, Cast Away, Jurassic Park, and any movie starring Captain Jack Sparrow.
Although I'm a scientist/geologist, I also love to paint - feel free to check out my artwork at: www.******.com (Blanked out to protect the not-so-innocent)
My favourite past-time is skipping stones across the surface of a still lake, preferably in the Mountians somewhere.
Looking for an outdoorsy lady who likes camping out under the stars, is a bit nerdy, who loves scrambling up mountain peaks, but also cozy cuddles on the couch while watching a favourite movie. Must be an animal lover (including cats and dogs, among other wild sorts like Pikas, Chinchillas, and Prehistoric Man-eating Therapods)."
I'm an adventurous geology nerd that loves camping, rock climbing, squash, landscape painting, science, dinosaur hunting, conducting geological fieldwork in remote places by helicopter - and most of all animals of all sorts, ranging from cats to horses to frogs (My favourite dogs are huskies and border-collies - okay, Palmeranians are cute...). I also enjoy cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, and baseball.
I especially love Music and Movies. My favourite music ranges from U2 to enya, and of course I'm madly in love with Bjork. My favourite movies are Braveheart, all of the Indiana Jones, Cast Away, Jurassic Park, and any movie starring Captain Jack Sparrow.
Although I'm a scientist/geologist, I also love to paint - feel free to check out my artwork at: www.******.com (Blanked out to protect the not-so-innocent)
My favourite past-time is skipping stones across the surface of a still lake, preferably in the Mountians somewhere.
Looking for an outdoorsy lady who likes camping out under the stars, is a bit nerdy, who loves scrambling up mountain peaks, but also cozy cuddles on the couch while watching a favourite movie. Must be an animal lover (including cats and dogs, among other wild sorts like Pikas, Chinchillas, and Prehistoric Man-eating Therapods)."
I had a look at his art (I liked most of it - he's pretty good!). I figure myself as an otudoorsy lady who likes camping, I'm a bit nerdy/geeky, love hiking, and can certainly go for a cuddle on the couch (if i had a couch) during a movie (oh, and Captain Jack sets my heart atwitter!). Let's email him!
My email:
"Hello there! You are in luck as I am a therapod (especially the
velociraptor if that is a therapod - now I've got to google Therapod...
*sighs*) loving girl geek who also enjoys the outdoors, painting,
photography, animals, and Captain Jack Sparrow. :D Your paintings are
great (not to boost your ego, I actually looked and like most of them -
the scary snake haired creature not so much but the landscapes are
great) and I'd love to see them in person sometime. Care to chat a bit
and see if perhaps we have more than chocolate in common? :D"
His Response: He read it and apparently it killed his adventurous spirit as I've yet to hear from him.
Ah well, on to the next unwitting victim...
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Quad Journeys
An update to the April 12th, May 15th, & June 13th entries:
This week marks my 36th week of nutritional changes, 27th week of fitness training, and 19th week of bike specific training.
As many of you know, Enbridge Ride to Conquor Cancer was postponed until August 10/11th due to heavy flooding in Calgary - water in the streets, mudslides, and washed out roads made a ride on June 22/23rd impossible. That gives us more biking to talk about! :) Lucky you! Stay tuned for pics from the trip in just over 4 weeks.
Now, let's look at the update:
36 weeks into my nutritional journey and I find myself revisiting my caloric intake needs as I'm far more active than I was at the start of this journey. I've also built up a fair amount of lean muscle mass (No, I don't look like Arnold) which requires more energy to maintain. I've gone from struggling to reach a 1200 calorie a day goal (meaning I often fell short of 1200 as I just wasn't hungry enough to keep eating at the end of the day) to having a major mental breakdown and needing to increase up to 1300 and then 1500 to now requiring close to 2000 calories a day to keep my body happy.
At the same time, I started my fitness training (27 weeks ago) with 2 - 60 minute TRX classes per week and found myself needing to add a 60 minute Butt & Gutt class as well as a 60 minute personal weight training session as I gained strength and stamina. Believe me, your body tells you when it needs more. Now starting my third session of fitness training, I have 2 - 60 minute TRX classes, 2 - 60 minute weight training sessions, and 1-2 days of endurance biking on my schedule each week.
You might be wondering how I did with my goals from a month ago. I can tell you that I do a pushup with every Burpie (And I still hate Burpies!), I do all of the suspended exercises in TRX and can even do side planks with a crunch (1 or 2, I didn't say I am a super star yet), I can do more reps and at a harder/steeper angle - pushing myself harder, and I can say that my mindset has changed from "can I do that?" to "I CAN do that!". Frequent reminders still needed (habits take practice) that "YES I CAN!!!" is healthier than "can I?" but I'm learning. :D
And the biking. To be honest, I had hoped to be done by now so that I could move on to to hiking and camping in the Rockies but all is not lost. More biking for me, more biking stories for you. Its a win-win! Stay tuned.
This week marks my 36th week of nutritional changes, 27th week of fitness training, and 19th week of bike specific training.
As many of you know, Enbridge Ride to Conquor Cancer was postponed until August 10/11th due to heavy flooding in Calgary - water in the streets, mudslides, and washed out roads made a ride on June 22/23rd impossible. That gives us more biking to talk about! :) Lucky you! Stay tuned for pics from the trip in just over 4 weeks.
Now, let's look at the update:
36 weeks into my nutritional journey and I find myself revisiting my caloric intake needs as I'm far more active than I was at the start of this journey. I've also built up a fair amount of lean muscle mass (No, I don't look like Arnold) which requires more energy to maintain. I've gone from struggling to reach a 1200 calorie a day goal (meaning I often fell short of 1200 as I just wasn't hungry enough to keep eating at the end of the day) to having a major mental breakdown and needing to increase up to 1300 and then 1500 to now requiring close to 2000 calories a day to keep my body happy.
At the same time, I started my fitness training (27 weeks ago) with 2 - 60 minute TRX classes per week and found myself needing to add a 60 minute Butt & Gutt class as well as a 60 minute personal weight training session as I gained strength and stamina. Believe me, your body tells you when it needs more. Now starting my third session of fitness training, I have 2 - 60 minute TRX classes, 2 - 60 minute weight training sessions, and 1-2 days of endurance biking on my schedule each week.
You might be wondering how I did with my goals from a month ago. I can tell you that I do a pushup with every Burpie (And I still hate Burpies!), I do all of the suspended exercises in TRX and can even do side planks with a crunch (1 or 2, I didn't say I am a super star yet), I can do more reps and at a harder/steeper angle - pushing myself harder, and I can say that my mindset has changed from "can I do that?" to "I CAN do that!". Frequent reminders still needed (habits take practice) that "YES I CAN!!!" is healthier than "can I?" but I'm learning. :D
And the biking. To be honest, I had hoped to be done by now so that I could move on to to hiking and camping in the Rockies but all is not lost. More biking for me, more biking stories for you. Its a win-win! Stay tuned.
He Quotes Bob Marley
I think that we can all admit that sometimes someone else (usually Hallmark) says it better. Obviously this quote means something to this guy and so here is what he says:
" I love camping, hiking, going on warm vacations, and watching a movie at home with someone special. Read this qoute if your still interested then message me.
He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and makes mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you. - Bob Marley Quote.
If you want to know more then ask! This makes it easier then putting a novel on here."
Now, this is a pretty decent quote for an online dating (or dating in general) situation. He knows that everyone is not perfect, but that someone is perfect for him. Granted it is written from a guy's point of view though (didn't think of this before) so does that mean that women have to be perfect but men don't? Hmmm, something to ponder. Meanwhile, his interests include movies, friends, hiking, BBQs, family, etc.
Well, I read the quote and am interested in saying hi. I want to know more so I guess it is time to ask...
My email: "Hello there! That's a great quote! :D I may have to steal it sometime in the future. Do you charge royalties? Where are your favorite places to hike? What is the one thing that you would not want anyone to know about you? :D Tricky question huh?"
I figure, why not give the guy a challenge. He's already admitted he isn't perfect so.. what isn't perfect about him?
His response: DELETED without reading...
Guess he won't be writing that novel after all.
Next!
" I love camping, hiking, going on warm vacations, and watching a movie at home with someone special. Read this qoute if your still interested then message me.
He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and makes mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you. - Bob Marley Quote.
If you want to know more then ask! This makes it easier then putting a novel on here."
Now, this is a pretty decent quote for an online dating (or dating in general) situation. He knows that everyone is not perfect, but that someone is perfect for him. Granted it is written from a guy's point of view though (didn't think of this before) so does that mean that women have to be perfect but men don't? Hmmm, something to ponder. Meanwhile, his interests include movies, friends, hiking, BBQs, family, etc.
Well, I read the quote and am interested in saying hi. I want to know more so I guess it is time to ask...
My email: "Hello there! That's a great quote! :D I may have to steal it sometime in the future. Do you charge royalties? Where are your favorite places to hike? What is the one thing that you would not want anyone to know about you? :D Tricky question huh?"
I figure, why not give the guy a challenge. He's already admitted he isn't perfect so.. what isn't perfect about him?
His response: DELETED without reading...
Guess he won't be writing that novel after all.
Next!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
He Likes Coffee
His interests start with coffee. I think we may have an addict on our hands though he doesn't appear to be vibrating in any of his photos...
Interests also include: hiking, nature, the gym, mountains, reading, other people, and of course hockey.
Well, he is fairly well rounded then. He may be a hockey likin' thug but he also likes reading (and coffee!) He's "seeking pretty intelligent" according to his headline. Now, does that mean he is seeking a pretty intelligent woman or a woman that is pretty and intelligent? I don't know...
Let's see what he has to say: "I am on here looking to meet someone who catches my eye and challenges my mind. Someone with their own point of view and willingness to express it.
As for myself, I enjoy exercising, reading, movies, ufc...and am rarely ever seen without a coffee in my hand. I do my best to be both socially and environmentally conscious and like that in others as well."
Alright, he wants someone to challenge his mind and who has their own point of view. Surely he knows that in order to figure out whether someone does that, he'll need to participate in a conversation (albeit an electronic one). Let's see if he can (or will) respond!
My email:
Interests also include: hiking, nature, the gym, mountains, reading, other people, and of course hockey.
Well, he is fairly well rounded then. He may be a hockey likin' thug but he also likes reading (and coffee!) He's "seeking pretty intelligent" according to his headline. Now, does that mean he is seeking a pretty intelligent woman or a woman that is pretty and intelligent? I don't know...
Let's see what he has to say: "I am on here looking to meet someone who catches my eye and challenges my mind. Someone with their own point of view and willingness to express it.
As for myself, I enjoy exercising, reading, movies, ufc...and am rarely ever seen without a coffee in my hand. I do my best to be both socially and environmentally conscious and like that in others as well."
Alright, he wants someone to challenge his mind and who has their own point of view. Surely he knows that in order to figure out whether someone does that, he'll need to participate in a conversation (albeit an electronic one). Let's see if he can (or will) respond!
My email:
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