He Knows What He Doesn't Want

At least this guy has a few standards. He knows exactly what he doesn't want:

"Ladies .... Let me tell you what I'm NOT looking for ..... (and here it comes!)

Topless mirror pics ... Like really. !!? Put a shirt on girls ... And if your flexing ... Move on ...!! (Is it just me or does it seem like nearly every guy on dating websites has a topless, flexing mirror pic?)

If you have pictures of your crotch rocket , sports car or your jacked up rig pig truck .... Move on (Hmmm, sounds like another guy thing. I don't go perusing the other womens' profiles but I sure see a lot of the above on the guys' profiles..)

Pleas stop sending pics of your junk !!! If that's your best asset..... I feel sorry for you !! (Say what? Are there really that many women sending their "junk" around on dating websites? I've been blindsided by guy junk but didn't know women did this too)

If your holding a beer in every pic. Or are drunk in every pic ... I'm not interested !! (Ah, the beer/drink shots... I think it is required of 4 out of 5 men to have a drink shot among their pics but every last one of them claims to only drink "socially")

Ladies if your wearing your pants around your ass with a baseball cap that has a flat rim , giving some sort of gangsta sign. ... Don't even !!! Move along !! (errrrrrrrr, yeah)

And if you think you can just say everything a guy wants to hear in hopes of getting some ... Your sadly mistaken .... I respect myself too much for that .. (By this point I am beginning to think that this profile is actually written by a woman. Most of the above are guy tendencies on online dating sites and well, I don't really think this "guy" could have run into that many women who do the same... just saying)

Girls that are players .... I'm not into games ... Take a hike .... I can spot someone being fake a mile away
Hope this weeds out all the losers out there ..."

What have we learned? Anyone who does the above is a "loser" and should move along. Let's see if he gets around to talking about what he DOES want...

"Just so I know you read my profile. Type the word dolphins in your message that way I know you took the time to read my profile instead of just looking at my pics .... I'm way more than a pretty face .... " 

He likes dolphins? What is it with guys and dolphins on this site. I once ran into one who complained that all the women had their pics taken with dolphins and he was jealous or something... Okay, so, what else does he like? 

"Ladies if your giving the " people's eyebrow ( raised eyebrow ). Without trying ....... Fix that sh*t!! Geez like dont you have any girlfriends who would be honest with you and tell you straight up you look like some sort of clown ....
Ok ok I'm done venting :p "

Oooops, that is another doesn't like... but, he does say he is finished venting so let's move along.   

"On a more serious note ...

single guy looking for an amazing connection.... are you out there ?

Lets find the spark that's been missing ...

I'm up for it ..... Are you ??

they told me to say ... "I'm unique"" 

Well, not much to go on. He is single so that is a plus. Oh, wants an amazing connection and a spark. And someone put it into his head that he is unique.  And the venting continues...

"One more thing !!! Ladies !!! If your gonna post pics of your girlfriends with you, Suck it up if I ask if they're single ...!!! Geeez lol"

Errrrr - I don't know what to say. Really? He would ask if your girlfriends are single if they happen to be in a picture with you on an online dating website? That is like showing up at the house and asking the other sister out once you got there. WOW! 

Ah, here is what he is looking for: 
"The other day I was browsing profiles ..... I came across one in particular ... Age 37 ,height 6 ft 1 , body type - atheletic. ... Everything I find attractive in a woman .... Then I had a closer look and it was my own profile ... ;p"

And, maybe not! Apparently he is hung up on himself. Any parting tidbits?    

"Another thing ....
When it comes down to it , I don't want to be your " change " what I mean by that is . It seems a lot of women decide , now is the time the don't want to be used for just sex .... I have no problems with that and I don't plan on using anyone for just sex ( I want to use them for everything else as well ... Haha I'm totally kidding )
But if you even have to make that decision, you've already been played far to many times and your more than likely weak and vulnerable and that's why that has happened to you. .... I'm not looking for you , I m looking for someone who exudes confidence and doesn't need a man to feel good about herself.
Now if that's you ..... Please .... Feel free to message me :) "

Well... alrighty then! We know exactly what he doesn't want and that would be to date a woman. This guy wants to date himself. Sadly I believe I messaged him asking what a "people's eyebrow" was (never heard of it before) but thankfully I didn't hear back from him (note that he did amend his profile to say what it was after I emailed him). I'd have to say that it was a moment of weakness because it was either really late or I was drinking and taking topless pics of myself and my best girlfriend with our junk hanging out in front of my jacked up rig whilst giving the people's eyebrow to the camera man who I planned to play later. Yeah, most likely the latter. 

NEXT!