Butterfly

As I moved through the woods I came to realize that I was surrounded on all sides by a darkness, much like walking through fog but thicker and so deep that the trees where hidden until I was startled by the sudden appearance of each thick, black trunk. I strained to see the tops but they were blended into the blackness that hung above me.

I could not make out the forms that I could hear flitting between the trees though I knew they were there, at least in my mind. Glancing quickly to each side I hoped to discover what might be sharing this woods with me. Holding my breath and wondering if I might really wish to know. It was in vain and I moved on, holding my hands in front of me in a small attempt to keep myself from walking into the solidity of a tree. At times my fingers would brush through a cobweb that would cling to my skin and cause me to shiver as I realized that the slightest vibrations would bring the spider, that wove it, running to overcome its prey. I hoped that they weren't close and shivered again at the thought.

It seemed forever that I walked, stumbled, over roots and through the undergrowth. I could feel the tearing of my clothes as they caught on branches, sometimes on thorns that in turn would pierce through and sting my flesh. I signed heavily, frustrated by the fog that seemed to have crept into my mind as well, hiding what knowledge I had held on how I had come to be here. Fighting to hold back the fear and confusion did nothing but cause my concentration to falter, letting the memories slip in from the forgotten past. Letting myself utter a small moan, I lost the tenuous grip that I held on the thread of my sanity. I sank to the cold ground and sobbed, not knowing the passing of time nor even caring. Curling myself into the smallest ball that was physically possible, I let go and was rushed along on the tide of emotion that flowed from my soul. Fear being the strongest , I shook violently wrapped in its embrace. As each crested and began to sing back into the whole, another was on its heels, eager to push upwards until, in turn, it too sank again into the depths carrying me with it.

When I again began to grasp at reason it was out of instinct, and not choice, that I fought. The animal inside proved stronger than my desire to slip into the void, where all feeling could be lost, though coming to consciousness I could feel a desperate emptiness inside. Much had been taken from me and laying there, feeling the hardness of the earth, I knew I would never regain it. A strange lightness seemed to fill me but it was not a joy, only the realization that I was now hollow. As I moved to stand, a slight rain began to fall. The strangest thing was the echo that it caused within my mind.

It was then that, standing in the darkness, I became aware that I could see ahead of me to what appeared to be a clearing. A warning flared deep within my mind but so far away that I paid it no heed. It did not seem at the time odd that where had but a moment before been only blackness was now a meadow bathed in the pale morning sun. The swallowing blackness remained behind me and wrapped around all sides of the clearing as, from the silence of the dark forest, I took a step onto the soft grass.

As I moved slowly into the light a gentle breeze brushed against my face and on it floated the most curious butterfly that for the briefest of moments hung transfixed in my thoughts, its colors sliding outward across its wings. Frozen in awe, I held my breath but it was gone. Wandering the clearing I would catch a glimpse of the butterfly, from time to time, as I moved and longed to look full upon it again. I stopped and waited, willing it to come just a bit further into view. When I realized that it would not, I began to explore the clearing again and it came to me that I had but to turn and look and the magnificent creature would be there before me.

Seeing a big of color off to my right, I turned and took a step towards it, slamming into something that I could not see. The clearing began to fade and my head spun with the blurring of the scene in front of me. I closed my eyes to stop the vertigo and when I opened them, the meadow was as clear as the moment before. I reached out and found nothing but the air in front of me. I shook my head and frowned but again my attention was caught by a bit of color far off across the clearing, there for a bit and then gone.

I sighed and moved on, marveling at the incredible space that was filled with the warmth of the now bright sun. As I moved, I sensed that the butterfly had again returned, perhaps to inspect my reason for entering its space.  Walking slowly, I formed a plan. I would walk around the clearing in a circle, slowly enough that the butterfly would not realize that I was coming upon it until I could stand to face it. If it sensed the plan on which I had embarked, I could not tell but somehow it stayed ever just beyond my view. Growing weary of this game I took a breath and quickly turned to look upon it again. As before, I struck an invisible wall. Gasping to relieve my dizziness as the clearing lost definition, the colors and light blurring together into shadow, I slipped back into darkness...