So as you go through a pile of online profiles looking for new friends, partners in crime, people to have adventures with, etc., there is always a pile of "discards". You now the ones. They wrote that little special something in their profile that made you go "well, huh..." and pass them by.
Here is a collection of some of those little special somethings:
1. By Mr. Tall, Dark, & Handsome (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent):
He writes a decent profile about patience, honesty, integrity, trust, communication and building a foundation of friendship. Not too shabby. He then wraps up his profile with this tidbit:
"I know you are out there, come to me, i am ready now."
EWWWW factor: 8
2. Mr. Listen UP! Actually his headline is "listen carefully" and coupled with this little beauty in his about me: "I do what I want to do, when I want to do
it. If I want to take a random road trip to Las Vegas to get wasted and
blow some money at the Craps table, I’m going to do it."
Um, yeah... no.
EWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a child with a bit of growing up to do but has the potential for a greater EWW factor if he keeps up with this track.
3. Mr. Split Personality - He has a very limited profile but what he is looking for is as clear as mud: "I would love to meet an uninhibited
woman" and followed by: "My
ideal partner is calm, and cool." Now, I don't know about you but I'm not convinced that "uninhibited" meshes well with "calm and cool". No EWWWW factor here, just a mixed up man.
4. Mr. Women are Only Here for an Ego Boost - The bulk of his "about me" is filled with a random rant about how bad the women on the dating website are: "I've been on and off of this site for
almost a year now. One thing I have learned Women are on here for An ego
boost . They rarely or never Message you back . I was talking to a
local girl Just trying to make a friend She told me that she had too
many messages to answer them all back And she was hideous . I got news
for you ladies The average guy Only Gets Three or four messages a week .
At least be honest You say you want a relationship But your always
looking for the next best ride . I was talking to one girl She said it
was third in line Out of seven Like I was supposed to thank her " Coupled with his sexist pictures that portray women fairly poorly in general, this guy gets a pass.
EWWWWW factor: 6 - he is more of a bitter woman dis-liker than anything. Too immature to realize that just because 1 or 2 have turned him down doesn't mean the rest of us are bad. Dis women in general and you are dissing me too.
5. The Sales Man - aka: Mr. Honest - This guy can't quite spit out what he is looking for without going into an about me. He starts with: "First before you read further. Please be
none of these.a liar, cheater, gambler, alcoholic, selfish. If you are
still reading, here is what i desire. Looking for a companion and best
friend to laugh with. I enjoy going out for dinners, holding hands, and
up for anything fun. I enjoy many types of entertainment and activities,
but lack somone to spoil, give flowers to...you know, the romantic
stuff. I am honest, loyal and trustworthy,with a big heart looking for a
woman who is the same." The next paragraph is much the same: "Here is what I am looking for; a smart,
sweet, beautiful woman who likes to laugh and have fun. I am very
Honest, sincere, devoted, and romantic, and would like the same in my
companion." Okay but once you have a look at his facebook profile (yeah, he stuck that in there on one of his photos so that you can find him outside of the dating website) you learn that he is into cars (I think that is what he sells) and all of his photos are of him posing in/with the cars or with hot chicks. Really? That is what we came to facebook to learn about you? You give slimy lot lizards a bad name. EEEWWWWW factor: 8
This post will be updated as more of these gems are uncovered so check back!
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